Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
