Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Randomize
