you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
