Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
