is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
