She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
