The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
