Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
