8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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