Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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