somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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