Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
