"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
