its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
