I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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