Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
