she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
