Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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