K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
