I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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