its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
