just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
