How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
