When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
