According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So much rum. So many feels.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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