It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
