Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Every concussion has its silver lining
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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