I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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