I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My bed smells like the plague
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
