C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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