he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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