I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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