I can text with my tongue
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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