bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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