It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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