Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
