just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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