it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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