"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
