my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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