when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
