you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
