There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
