i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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