I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
