So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
