Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
