i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize