i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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