I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
