I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i dont even know how to be here
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
